Not Fair & Lovely but Dusky & Beautiful

‘Eh Kaali’ , ‘Kaali Kaluti Jali Hui Roti’ are the adjectives I have grown up with. This is the life of a dusky girl; in a world obsessed with fairness.

I belong to the GSB community (Goud Saraswat Brahmin), majority of the people in my community are fair! So my struggle started right from the beginning. Throughout school I have struggled with basic things that I shouldn’t be worried about. Like – constantly looking out for options to lighten my complexion, not playing in the sun & so on. To add to that I was always called a Negro if I got even a slight tan. As a kid I used to feel very under confident & hated myself.

When I entered in my teens things just got worse for me! This is the time you crave attention from the opposite gender. I knew something is wrong with my complexion as I don't get the same RESPECT like other "fair girls". It sounds strange but is completely true. Somehow lack of attention from boys had started affecting me in a negative way! The sad truth is many a times people who roast you for your skin tone even forget their basic decency.

We live in a very diverse country & culture. Fair skin obsession should have never been a problem but then came in creams like Fair & Lovely! Personally, I don’t have any problem with "Fairness" products but like everyone else I hate the way the way they market their product & give so much importance to fair skin tones! These ads or Bollywood films have negatively impacted the society. We always relate Fair Skin with beauty, richness, higher standard in society. 

I have a sister who is 8 years younger to me. I thought by the time she is in her teens times would have changed, she wouldn’t face colour discrimination. But, I was WRONG! She had to go through the same things. I did try to help her but she had her own share of struggles.

Today I only wish that I could go back to the 11-year-old me & explain to myself that it’s okay. This too shall pass!

Having said that I don’t want to say nothing has changed. Delhi durr hai but we have started our journey towards it! Nandita Das has also started a campaign ‘Dark is Beautiful’ which is a very good initiative. People have become more aware! Personally I feel all the dusky beauties are more confident now & are trying to leave the society stigma behind & learning to love themselves! Even Bollywood has embraced dusky beauties with open arms, which is a very big victory!

As for me, I have learned to love myself & my complexion. Try my best to not get bogged down by ‘compliments’ such as – You’re pretty for a dusky girl! Made a promise to myself not to use any kind of ‘skin lightening products’ or wear light colours (taboo for dark skinned girls)! To all the aunties out there – I recently got married, to a Sikh guy – against all dusky girl rules!